#but are they in a good heterosexual relationship

[manie-sans-delire-x]

I said I would rather die than never have love (in the romantic and sexual sense). And as I am heterosexual, I can only be fulfilled in that sense by a relationship with a male.

Correct, yes my desire for a life partner overides that risk. Just as many lesbians and gays risk prison and even murder by homophobes to be with a partner that they love and are sexually attracted to. I realize the situations arent the exact same but point is, people die for love and to be with the sex they are attracted to all the time, its human nature, its highly important, its genetically ingrained to the highest extent, and its so unfair to say every straight woman should just "get over it" and be ok with giving up and never have that intimate relationship with someone. My priority isnt men its having love. And platonic love will never be the same.

No one is saying OP is wrong BECAUSE theyre 18. They are saying OP has been a child for their whole life and thus obviously lack life experience and time to be "celibate", enough to make claims that it should be easy for adults to maintain for about the next 60 yrs of life.

Also you say celibacy was easy for YOU. Thats great, but why would that apply to everyone? Your experience is not universal.

"Sorry op"? OP asked a question, they got answers.

Celibacy? Great. Choosing not to date men? Great. Even encouraging seperatism is great. But acting like its easy, to be expected, that if they dont theyre stupid or deserve any abuse? Unrealistic, and unempathetic.

Its ok if other people make different personal life choices and have different priorities. Not everything is "this is right, that is wrong". Just conversation, just different people. Its good to ask, share, and hear different views. You can coexist with people you dont fully agree with. Not sure why disagreement has to translate into "pay no mind" and just ignoring people or writing off their perspective. I dont think thats a healthy reaction to different takes. Op asking is a good thing.

why do self proclaimed radical feminists still choose to date men? do you think you are the exception? do you think you’ve found the needle in the haystack? do you think all of the women who were abused, assaulted, killed, had their children killed, assaulted, abused, kidnapped, etc. all thought this would happen? sure, many of them may look back and see the signs after the fact, but it still happened.

i feel like if you’re mature enough to be a radical feminist, you wouldn’t have that “i am the exception” mindset. you wouldn’t be seeing all of these horrific things happening and go “this only ever happens to the women on the internet and on the news!!!” because, no, that could happen to you or your loved ones.. and chances are it already has, and it will again in the future.

why not just prevent it from happening entirely? separatism is the ONLY solution. your boyfriend is NOT the exception.

[ingravinoveritas]

I find these very awkward just cos there no smile coming from both of them at all which make me think something isn't right with recent events that happen also something defo brewing cos here it look like they undercomforable and doesn't look like neither Arms are around each other neither. This defo looks cringe cos literally no smile from either since recent events that happen

I will use this as an update to this post from earlier, to clarify that it seems Michael was at A View From the Bridge tonight, rather than Kiss Me, Kate.

It turns out that Callum Scott Howells (who played Owen in Michael's directorial debut, The Way) was in the play, and I'm going to put up a few pictures of Michael with Callum and Dominic West that pretty much say it all:

The last one is a particular favorite for oh-so-many reasons (hello, arms, and also twink/Daddy vibes...), but I'm just sort of floored at the difference between these pictures and the pictures with Anna. If people are unwilling to see that difference/how unhappy they both seem at this point--to where neither Michael nor AL look like they're even trying in these pics--I'm not sure what else can really be said.

All I can say is that Michael's face is visibly lit up in the picture with Dominic and the pictures with Callum, which makes it more noticeable when his face is not lit up otherwise. And I know we could say there are a hundred reasons why he looks so sullen in the first set of pictures (he's tired, travel issues, etc.), but what takes this into the realm of purposeful for me is seeing him with the other people at the after party. I think Michael is an incredibly good and talented actor, but when he's being himself, he is never going to pretend to feel something he doesn't feel, or to pretend not to feel something that he does. And that seems clearer than ever in these pictures.

Could I be completely wrong about all of this? Of course. But I'm hard-pressed to see how anyone can keep ignoring what is plainly right in front of us, and has been for some time. I'd be glad to hear from my followers as well with your thoughts...

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[my-deer-friend]

I have a genuine question, please do not think this is rude. What draws you to want to study male/male queer history as a cis-woman in a heterosexual relationship? Do you ever get pushback from other (male) scholars about your interest?

It's because I'm a Pisces with Pisces rising. Hope this helps.

[fem-lit]

Ryan, Barbara. “BEYOND EMBARRASSMENT: FEMINISM AND ADULT HETEROSEXUAL LOVE.” The Centennial Review, vol. 37, no. 3, 1993, pp. 471–86.

JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/23739489.

[jackass-jones]

Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?

[blossombloodcurse]

the nevers should have gone on for three full seasons at least. i was gonna make a joke about it getting worse than it was, but unfortunately i must be genuine, i think it could have gotten to be actually good if it continued.

[daisyachain]

Restorative or Transformative?: Homoerotic Subtext, The Closet, and Ciphers in Pop Culture. The nature of commercial art is that it’s sometimes bad and inconsistent. Notably it’s also misogynistic. One way in which audiences try to reconcile massive plot holes or gaps in character motivation is by reading secrets or hidden information into a plot.

Commonly, male characters are interpreted as closeted gay or bisexual to reconcile the absence of women from commercial narratives with the generally stunted and poorly-written male characters that form the focus on said texts. This reading has become especially common among a non-heterosexual milieu. Rather than transforming the original text into some radically different new form, this closeted interpretation seeks to make the original text stand on its own as a story rather than a Swiss cheese of dumb writing decisions.

This interpretation only works for a specific type of pop, usually genre fiction. Any story in which tortured male leads eschew women in favour of male-male bonds (because female characters are constantly killed off, written sparsely, or written out, because the production team keeps casting their male buddies, because actors demand to keep having scenes with their bros, whatever) can become a sounder structure if you put one of them in a closet.

The gay interpretation is the natural consequence of shoddy misogynistic writing from ventures like Supernatural, Naruto, all the biggest hits. It’s also the natural consequence of more benignly misogynistic writing like The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes or The Lord of the Rings, where women aren’t necessarily rejected but are simply absent from the worlds of the protagonists. When the emotional crux of the story falls on male-male interactions, this reads as romantic because society at large priorities (definitively heterosexual) romance as the pinnacle of human connection. Two forces are in conflict, the primacy of heterosexuality (read as: romance) and the primacy of men.

Anyway. All that is to say that the typical gay or bisexual reading of male characters in pop fiction comes from a very real place. But, in some places, that’s the default interpretation. Angst, insecurity, secrets, double lives, fatigue, disappointment, restrained passion, stunted personal growth, anyone living in the closet can tell you that it impacts and defines your whole life to know that you live in a way fundamentally incompatible with The Proper Way that life is structured around down to tax law and superstore prices (which assume a heterosexual nuclear family unit). Characters in fiction also tend to have personal problems because that makes them interesting and tasty.

If you’ve grown up on stories with the specific type of misogyny that can be papered over with a closeted interpretation of the male leads, carrying this interpretation over to any male character will make sense more often than not. Even a bit of angst or insecurity? Well of course that makes sense if a character is closeted.

Except that’s hurt a normal part of fiction, and sometimes the closeted interpretation takes away from the point of a character. If a male character is on another axis of marginalization, the closeted interpretation imposed by the slash reading community downplays or trivializes the effects of that marginalization in the plot by overwriting it with another type of marginalization. Alternately, sometimes a character’s heterosexuality is a part of the story. There are some sorts of critiques or investigations of misogyny or masculinity that don’t work if the character has an ‘opt out’ of the cisheteropatriarchal perspective. Not that gay/bisexual men aren’t except from misogyny, but misogyny masculinity and heterosexuality are so tightly linked that it sort of defeats the point if you interpret that character outside of heterosexuality.

All that is to say—the closet interpretation is a quick and easy spice to apply to the weaker parts of action-adventure genre fiction to make it taste better. It draws from a large enough sample of art that it’s pretty widely applicable. Because of that, it’s part of some people’s [my] default interpretation package just because the semi-dull macho show at least gets less dull if you imagine there’s a reason for there to be no girls besides simple hatred. That then forms its own problem where the interpretation that works with your average genre work gets then blanket-applied to all genre works and obscures the places where the closet interpretation doesn’t fix the work, and actually makes it less interesting.

[youssefguedira]

Santamaria plays Eumeo, a pig farmer who shelters Odysseus when he shows up on the shores of Ithaca, then helps him by hiding him from his enemies, and taking him to the palace to meet his mother and Telemacus.

It's the biggest role in the film excluding Odysseus, Penelope and Atinoo, which is good for him.

Going back to CMBYN, most of the controversies where about the fact that Hammer was 30-31 when the movie was shot, way older than his character and way older than Chalamet (who was 20 at the time I think?).

Many people thought that the book and most of all the movie were borderline p€dophiliac or abusive for showing characters and actors with such an age difference in a gay relationship, which is nuts for so many reasons.

Chalamet is obviously the star in the movie, I agree with you, but the more I watched it, the more I found myself appreciating how Hammer played Oliver, his "I'm older than you so I should be wise and keep my distance but I'm starting to love you and though I am an adult I'm still only 24 so I'm mature-ish but not so much to actually be able to walk away from you before anything happens" behaviour. It was more subtle than Chalamet's performance, because that's obviously what the role required.

hammer's definitely doing a good job!! he's exactly as charismatic as he needs to be to make the role work, which is a pretty essential aspect: we need to somewhat get why elio is so into him so quickly, which only really clicked for me during the disco scene (mostly because of love my way shout out to love my way. he's bringing the right energy to his performance for sure as a more confident / settled kinda guy, which acts as a good parallel to elio's discovering of himself. sorry i just had to sit through my lecture on this film and i think you can tell.

the age gap is. it IS questionable in the context. of elio being 17. so mostly i didn't particularly find their scenes romantic i was mostly just on team i want elio to be happy and have 0 problems. the film does occasionally engage with this (oliver specifically makes an 'i hope i havent fucked you up' comment which i found super interesting) but like i said. it's gonna make some people uncomfortable. if anything i was side eyeing oliver throughout the film. and it's the sort of thing that's gonna make people uncomfortable. but the making of the movie itself.... if chalamet is 20 and hammer is like 30 that's whatever. there's age gaps like that in straight couples on screen all the time. chill the hell out. think most of the problematisation is from the elio being 17. which is very much understandable

BUT!! like i said!! it's a narrative device!! it's exploring someone's understanding of himself and how that changes!! something my prof brought up was the way oliver acts as a contrast to elio as in, again, being more self-assured and confident and seemingly knowing himself and his identity better in a lot of ways. elio starts to mirror him in a few different ways as he develops. the attraction is there from the start, but i also think it's interesting to view how the relationship is one of the forms in which elio is exploring who he is, and this comes through his interactions with an older man who is much more settled in himself. fascinating stuff! it'll ick some people out of the film entirely but thats ok. i don't think it's an inherently problematic movie. i wasn't particularly invested in the relationship beyond aforementioned being particularly invested in elio as a character have i mentioned how i just think he's neat. if it was a real actual relationship yeah i would probably be like. hm. don't like that. and there were definitely points in the film where i was going 🤨 at oliver. but its one of those things that requires slightly more nuance in its discussion imo.

anyway final note on timothee chalamet. it's mostly because i regularly forget he can act until i watch a movie with him and i go hey! this kid can act! (talking about a full grown man who is older than i am). i think you really do have to care about elio for the movie to work. and he is portrayed in just the right way to be endearing instead of annoying which is a risk. gonna watch the movie again tonight i think. thought it hadn't gotten to me but i have been chronically Thinking abt it since i watched it. so ill be doing that. right after i watch conclave 2024

[jintsuki]

brad is so real for this. it IS weird.

[batsplat]

okay what’s up with the good wife out of all the media you reblog this is the most random one ?

it's not RANDOM omg that is a top three rewatch show to me... I love my silly little lawyers.... perfect mix of fun week to week cases, excellent side characters, interpersonal mess between the main cast, plus all the ways they'd imaginatively tackle Current Events. the good fight had a similar appeal - minus the focus on week to week cases and plus far more explicit politics. didn't always work, but it's one of those shows where I just kind of appreciated how willing they were to take a swing at it and get a bit weird about it. even in the good wife, they had so many Good Bits... the nsa agents who were super invested in the main cast's relationships, the liberal judge with all his Causes, the wife killer, LOUIS CANNING!! obviously, the 'in your opinion' lady, the google guy... also this is from the good fight but the federal investigator lady who always had the birds fly against her office window was a+ plus, it's such a dumb bit but it got me every time as a great appreciator of dumb bits. such a corny pair of shows that are very much like,, About Liberalism and a reckoning with that entire era of american life from an unabashedly liberal perspective, with all the inherent pitfalls and shortcomings of that pov... but does consistently manage to do interesting stuff with that starting point. a lawyer show that's also a bit of an autopsy of a mostly dead vision of america, kinda all you need sometimes

and I love alicia and will, my tragic heterosexuals!! the forbidden love of it all!! I love how cruel and selfish alicia was a lot of the time and how she's mostly in control of that relationship even though will SHOULD be the one in the position of power, how she's constantly using him and then pushing him away while will is so obviously besotted, how she simply keeps finding excuses to stop herself from being happy... does she even love him at all or does she just like him in theory, does she just want to be desired... how they always have 'bad timing' and just cannot figure their shit out... "it's romantic because it didn't happen".... "my plan is I love you" the unapologetic melodrama of it all!! the deleted voice message is?? crazy?? (eli goated character btw, the cheese lobby episode is still one of my favourite episodes of anything ever.) that lift scene is peak romance... when she leaves the firm and he feels so betrayed... his tantrum!! "I took you in when nobody wanted you"!! "you were POISON"!! "you're awful and you don't even know how awful you are"!! he's so pathetic and angry for half a season that he's resorting to just arguing with her in his head!!! always with their failed communications via phone and lift doors and loaded gazes across office spaces and delicate finger touches... the romance of it all, how they really could have worked but it's also so glaringly obvious why they kept falling apart... in the end all these repressed losers create their own misery... elite

[odetolovers]

i wish i knew more queer women who were very into their careers

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

.

[badolmen]

Nothing like being in your early teen years trying to sleep upstairs (the bed is beside the stairs and the light is only blocked by a curtain) while the adults talk and drink and you overhear them praising how pretty and attractive your older sister is (the cabin has unfinished Sheetrock walls so thin they barely keep out the cold) with only your mother offering a half hearted ‘well [redacted] is pretty too…’ which kills the conversation bc you, undiagnosed queer autist, would not even qualify to be a side character in a Jane Austen novel and the adults don’t know you’re listening when they make mumbles of disagreement and go back to their card game.

[thirstyvolleyballhoe]

parks and rec is such a good show and gave us so many great memes and yet it's so underrated in pop culture

[beaujagr]

complaints and spoilers for Barbie in tags

I feel SO confused about all the "the men are mad about Barbie" posts because I have seen an expected number of guys pulling the expected shit, but INFINITELY MORE cis white women both missing the point and complaining about basically everyone -- and no one at all pointing out their complaints.